Proverbs 18:22 (The Message): Find a good spouse and you find a good life - and even more: the favor of God!

This past week, my wife and I sat down to watch one of our favorite shows, "John and Kate Plus 8". If you've been following the news even remotely, you know what's been going on in the lives of these two parents and this family. The intent of this show, and why Michelle and I like it so much, was to highlight the uniqueness of raising "multiples" in today's culture. The focus always seems to be the kids: the victories, stories, stresses, wins and losses that come with that and parenting in general. John and Kate often refer to it as a "journey", and I'm sure that's what it's been. But this week's episode brought to the forefront the reality of life and our consummate inability to see that marriage can become a very broken thing but also one that doesn't have to be held together by spiritual duct tape.

The breakdown of this most recent celebrity marriage is one that, as Kate put it, can be added to the statistics column of our culture. Parents who just couldn't make it work and the kids who will now have to live with it. A husband who struggled to communicate and a wife who struggled to let go of the control she worked so hard to obtain. Does this sound familiar to anyone else in the room? This really isn't a new story - it's been happening to families and marriages forever and the answers to why and the strategies for prevention don't always come easy.

I know everyone has their opinions and maybe a certain measure of distaste for the way things have ended up for this family and this couple. But there is a deeper reality for marriage that as Christ-followers we should consider...marriage is a sacred thing. A combining of two people into one; the joining of two lives, backgrounds, families, experiences, beliefs, values and habits into one. This is usually, and maybe by design, a messy and exciting process and one that requires patience, understanding, a little arguing and the preeminence of the love of Christ. For those of us whose lives are not judged throught the lens of our fame like John and Kate's (whether that was their choice or not), it's easy for us to sit on the side line of non-primetime TV life and speculate as to why this couple didn't make it. In considering the title for the show, I think they got it right - John and Kate are presented as one person, one unit, one team as they often called it, doing life together surrounded by this little community of people they simply call their "kids". Whether they meant to communicat this or not, it's there.

Here's my question - would you be willing to invite a camera into your house? Watch you raise your kids, live your life and practice the art of marital oneness for millions to critique? And even if you did, what would you adjust or tweek about how you went about your day to present the image that you had things under control? Would you and I have the courage to do life out in the open and be ready to live with the consequences and reap the rewards? What you and i need to remember is that is already happening. God sees who we are because he knows who we are because he made us. And, he made marriage with a very defined goal - to make two people one and, in doing so, reflect his glory and his goodness. This is not an instantaneous process and it takes work - concepts our culture struggles with mightily. I'm sad for this couple and I hope they reconcile and find restoration; but not just for their kid's sake. I think more often than not in our culture, people stay married for the wrong reasons (maybe because they got married for the wrong reasons). I don't know if that's the case for this couple, but if you're married and struggling to stay connected in oneness with your spouse, recognize that you don't HAVE to give up.

Marriage is a covenant not mean to be broken. That's not a slam on this couple or anyone out there who's been divorced or is going through that process right now. That's just what scripture says. I have no idea if anyone shared this concept with John and Kate Gosselin. Several times throughout the course of the show they quietly and not-so-quietly presented themselves as a Christian family. So you and I should pray for them but also consider the truth that must be gleaned - this TV show is going to have to search for a new title because what used to be one couple and eight children has now become two parents and eight children. We should also see that there must be hope, whether it's for John and Kate or you or someone you know who is struggling in their marriage today. There is hope in Christ for any marriage, any broken relationship. Don't give up; choose to ground your life and marriage in Christ. In a world where it is tempting to live as two, strive to live as one.